I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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