i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
