She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
