can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
