I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
