shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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