So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
