So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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