So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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