I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
