I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
