1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
