i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
