you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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