Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
