Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
