All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
