So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
This house was built for laser tag.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
