His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
