dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize