I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
