My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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