watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
