I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
