Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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