I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I am puke
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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