First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
