Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
