STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
