Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
