it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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