We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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