There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
