I feel like abortions should bother me more
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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