Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He kissed a someone with a penis
honey bunches of taint.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize