I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
