He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she peed on how many people?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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