her vagine was all disorganized.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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