well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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