it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
