That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I will pee on everything he values.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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