I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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