He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i've created a new STD.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
