You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
