I'm gonna have a badass scar
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
