My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
