I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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