i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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