I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
