I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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