All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
