They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
