So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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