Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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