Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am spending my child support on dildos
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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