i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
