Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
