oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
