Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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