was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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