So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
