Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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