he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
