I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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