so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I need to align my fucking chakras
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
