took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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