you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
