I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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