Don't you send me to vm
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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