Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
