I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
