is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
