Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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