Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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