I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize