The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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