I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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