"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
