good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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