No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
