I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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