I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
