I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
